Home Is What You Make It

 I love houses. 

Love looking at them, online and in real life; designing and decorating them, sometimes in real life, sometimes just in my head. In another life I would be an interior designer or maybe a real estate agent. Imagining what colors go well together; should I paint the bedroom sage green, knock down that wall… I have a particular affinity for accessories – pillows and blankets and lamps and candles and knick knacks and loads of books on the shelf. They mean comfort to me. 

Did I mention pillows?

Stay with me. I do have a point… and I will get to it eventually.

My obsession with accessories got worse during the Pandemic when my home became my sanctuary (actually still is) and I needed to feather my nest (actually still do).

The Pandemic opened the door to a lot of online shopping. In my pajamas. At 4 am. With a cat on my lap. When we weren’t watching cat videos and strolling thru 5 million dollar homes. 

My décor has always reflected whatever phase I seem to be in at the time. When I was in my Jimmy Buffett phase a beach/tropical theme was my thing. 

Then when Charlie and I got married it was all about cozy and a mountain, Colorado, cozy theme. Because we were, indeed, making our nest.

 A few years ago I entered my bright, kind of Boho stage. 

That may have started during the Pandemic when everything seemed so bleak and I just needed color in my life. 

And now I’m in my Hygge mode. Which, ironically is a bit of a throw back to the early days of my marriage. Hygge is all the rage now. Being 100% Scandinavian (3/4 Norwegian and ¼ Dane) it seems this would come naturally to me. And it kind of does. Again a throw back to the early days of my marriage when we were creating a cozy, warm, peaceful nest. I have a head start with my Grandfather's rocking chair. 

Hygge: Especially with reference to Danish culture: that inspires or engenders feelings of contentment or well-being as from experiencing coziness, comfort, social harmony, etc.; pleasant, harmonious; cozy, comfortable.

How the Danes describe Hygge

My first job is to declutter. (Anyone relate?) Then go thru my home, room by room and create a calm, peaceful, restful space. Neutral quiet shades of sage green, beige, tan and khaki; warmed by a glowing fire in the fireplace, candles and pillows and blankets and books and cute dogs and cute cats.  A desire for comfort, the soft embrace that is my home. 

And here’s my point (FINALLY, woman, get to the point!).

I believe that your home reflects who you are. Right now mine looks more like a small animal rescue than a serene environment I crave, but I’ll figure out a way. And for me, especially in these unsettling times, peace, calm, warm comfort is what I need the most in my days. 

Namaste

Finding Passion

Today marks the beginning of my 7th year as a volunteer photographer at the Dumb Friends League animal shelter in Denver. 

What a journey. 

Blur was the first cat I photographed. 

Riley is the most recent cat I photographed. 

There have been hundreds, probably thousands in between. Each one more precious than the last.

My 7 year old Kukki is the reason I signed up to volunteer (after three training classes, a background check and a one-on-one interview). Adopting him at age 1 in 2018 was my introduction to the [at the time] newly remodeled shelter. I was intrigued with the place, with the people I met. 

Just a few weeks into my volunteering gig I fell in love with Tobie. 

Tobie was 10 years old, had a 4/6 heart murmur, some additional minor medical needs and was extremely charming. We took him home on Easter Sunday in 2019 and renamed him Kobie. Upon his first visit to our Vet Clinic we discovered his heart murmur was more like 2/6 and the skin disease he was diagnosed with no longer existed. 

He is almost 16 now and despite being diabetic (in remission) and hyperthyroid, is thriving and still our loving, affectionate boy. 

Is it difficult not to adopt more? Does the Earth rotate around the sun? Of course it is. I fall in love every time I set foot in the building. I’ve come close a few times, but having a full house of rescues of my own even I know when to put on the brakes. I’ve only come this close once and that was with Gabby. 

Gabby was a 13 year old girl with chronic kidney disease. It’s a malady that occurs often in cats as they age. It can be managed nicely often for years, but eventually it does get more serious. Having had a few senior cats in my life and having dealt with CKD I was worried about Gabby’s adoption possibilities. So I introduced her to my husband, who somewhat reluctantly agreed that if she wasn’t adopted by xxxx date, we would take her home. 

She was adopted the next day. And not by us.

I have learned so much. I have developed a fondness for senior cats with all their gentle and settled ways. Cats like timid 13 year old Brownie who found a beautiful, loving home. 

The ones, like seniors, who are often overlooked ~ missing an eye or missing a limb or have a chronic, but manageable disease like Cerebellar Hypoplasia, similar to Cerebral Palsy in humans. 

I have learned what FeLV is (feline leukemia) and what panleuk is – both dangerous to felines and the dreaded ringworm, not fatal but a pesky thing to deal with. I know about URIs and UTIs and Calici. I have fallen in love so many cats with a condition called FIV (Feline immunodeficiency virus) which simply means a cat’s immune system is slightly weakened. What I have discovered spending time with them is their charming personalities!

Hans was the first FIV cat I came to know and he stole my heart. 

There have been many, many FIV cats who have crossed my path since Hans and what I have seen in each one is a common thread. They are, more often than not, rough and tumble boys of the street; once in awhile we will see a girl FIV cat, but most often boys. Oscar was in the shelter for a long time, eventually went into a loving foster home and then got adopted.

They exude gratitude. Gratitude to be safe and loved. I say they have something extra in their DNA, a special love gene. They are across the board affectionate, funny and loving. I remember one particular FIV cat (although his name escapes me) - the only cat I have met who sat on my lap, put his paws on my shoulders and hugged me. More than once. Is your heart melting? Because mine is. 

I’m a huge advocate for the FIV kids. You can see that on full display with my pal, Buddy (and Bucky in the background) in 2021.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a few kittens who snuck their way into my heart. There was Billie who turned out to be a working cat, but a social one. She liked me but didn't want me to know it. She would hiss as I approached her but would eventually give in and let me pet her. When she was getting ready to go to her new home I whispered to her, "You text me if you need me and I'll come get you."

Yes, I talk to the cats.

Then there was Spitfire, whose name was eventually Clay, but my colleague and partner in all things cat, originally named him Spitfire. This little one liked to hiss, too. He was large and in charge. (Not really.) I didn't fall for his little hissy fits. We learned quickly that was just a defense mechanism and he was merely a timid little guy looking for love. 

I have learned that different breeds of cats have different personalities, not always but often. Red tabbies also known as orange tabbies or ginger cats are personality plus (like my Kukki). They are social, outgoing, quirky, funny, clever and mischievous. Brown tabbies (I have one of those, too) are a lot like gingers, affectionate, loving and a little mischievous as well. Tuxedo cats are whip smart, torties are spicy, ragdolls are cuddle bugs and lynx point mixes can be very curious and clever. The list goes on and on.

I have learned a lot about photography (and trial and error), how to best edit photos to show cats in their best shining light. I have learned how to approach timid cats, working cats, feral cats and the drop dead gorgeous cats (who make my job easy). 

And the unexpected bonus has been making some very like-minded human friends. The ones who teach me, guide me, laugh with me and cry with me. 

In these times, more than ever, I am humbled and grateful to do what I do. Here’s to Year Seven!

Namste.

Never Worry Alone.

Tonight is the first night I have felt like crying. I'm not someone who cries. My Scandinavian heritage keeps that in check. But tonight I feel despair. And it's only been five fucking days. It just feels like there is no stopping this freight train that is running through all of our lives. 

Add to that I’m having a little PTSD – so reminiscent of eight years ago. When each day is a fricking roller coaster of being pissed off, being sad, being worried, being anxious and then being thoroughly pissed off again. The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming.

And I’m one of the lucky ones. The only thing I have going against me is that I’m a woman. So many have it so much worse. 

My Many Paws bring welcome distractions and entertainment and comfort. Thank god my partner for life is on the exact same page so we can commiserate. Same goes for my close friends. They all bring empathy but also diversions and laughter. And omg we need laughter now more than ever. My creative outlets are the biggest blessing; I am never bored.

Although the country’s situation is never far from my mind I do find some comfort, some hope in people like Dan Harris who doles out wise words that inspire me. 

“Action absorbs anxiety.” I don’t know what kind of action to take right now but as this whole situation becomes darker – and it will become darker – I believe opportunities for action will begin to arise. 

For now action to me is staying aware (although it can be a challenge when things change every five minutes); but more importantly staying involved in life in general.

Which brings to mind another thing Dan said that brought comfort. “Never worry alone.” That’s where my BFF husband life partner comes in and my close friends. Text streams and lunches and messaging and, yes, even the occasional real phone conversation. Video chats with my sons and their families, especially those little munchkin grandkiddos who grow and change by the minute. 

Another inspiration lies in Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde who gave a truly honest Inaugural Sermon on January 21. She was gentle, soft spoken and eloquent in her plea directly to the President for mercy. Mercy for the gay, lesbian and transgender population and immigrants who fear for their lives. The bravery she shared is unmatched.

So it’s hard sometimes, but try to hold on to the good things, the inspiring things, the things that make your heart beat. 

Because at times it seems like that is all that will keep us putting one foot in front of the other. Take a breath. Get outside. Fall in love with nature; she shares infinite ways to heal.

And take a puppy for a walk. 

Namaste

Sanity.

 Processing everything that has happened in the last 36+ hours (is that all???) has been  - for the lack of a better word - confusing. And exhausting. And depressing. And fricking scary. 

To me this feels like our future.

Ominous

Doom

Did I mention ominous?

Isolated

But I can't live that way. Or I will lose my mind. Although I have to admit, it will always be hiding in the way back corners of said mind. I'm not sleeping on this one. 

But I have to fill my life with nature 

and the little people in my life 

and cats 

and dogs 

and brunch and art and cocktails with friends 

and creativity 

and love 

to keep my mind sane. 

So one day at a time. Because thinking beyond that is waaaay too overwhelming. 

Namaste

Storm's Comin'

 Years ago I would walk my Simba dog in a local park every morning. We often ran into Thomas and his dog and we would stop and chat. I remember one particularly cloudy morning with ominous looking clouds. The white pelicans were circling overhead. 

“Storm’s comin’,” Thomas said.  

Storm’s comin’... 

I’m thinking about that tonight as we sit on the precipice of something so ominous. What will the country we see at Noon EST tomorrow be? It will be turned upside down and will remain that way for the foreseeable future. It’s terrifying. 

We know for sure we're in for a rough go of it for a few years. Because the richest man in the world told us so. HE TOLD US SO. And almost half the country said, "Ok." 

We're all flipping exhausted and haven't caught our breath from the last time. And the Pandemic that was a total shitshow.  So take a beat, but not too long. Because autocracy, like the fog, comes in on little cat feet.

And before you know it - the fog has enveloped everything. Everyone. 

But we are still here, dammit. 

Please don't give up. Our way of life, our country that so many of our family members fought for is still worth fighting for. In any way we can. 

On November 6, 2024, Vice President Kamala Harris said this:

I find such great inspiration in Andra Day's "Rise Up." Because we are going to need to. 

Namaste

We are more alike than we are different

 “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”  *Mark Twain*

Sometimes the smallest act of kindness can make the difference in someone’s day. Hold the door for the person behind you. Let the car desperately trying to get in your lane in. 

Stop a stranger on the street to give them a compliment. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this when I see a hairdo I like (it’s all about the hair). Or compliment a woman in Target on her sparkle sandals. I did that once and she was so surprised and so happy. 

Tell a friend how much it means that they noticed you were a bit down “do you want to talk?.” Tell a colleague how much you admire the work they do. 

Text your bestie every morning to say “Good Morning! How are you? What’s on tap for today?”  Call your Mom -  if you are lucky enough to still have her with you. Write a letter to your grandkids – I mean snail mail. It will blow their minds. 

Surprise your Vet or your Doctor with some home baked goods for them and their staff. Theirs is not an easy path; let them know they are appreciated. Leave snacks on your front porch for the delivery folks - especially during the holidays when they work so hard. 

Donate to a cause that speaks to you – whether that be with your time, your talent or financially. 

It’s not hard. This being kind thing. Sometimes it takes two minutes. And it can be a bit addictive. In the best of ways. 

I always remind myself that we are more alike than we are different. On any given day you may be standing next to someone who is trying their best not to fall apart. Barely holding it together. Keep kindness in your heart. 

Namaste