I Blame the Pandemic.

I blame the Pandemic. The terrifying time of COVID-19 when millions died. 

I blame the Pandemic for scaring the beegeebers out of me – and every human on the planet. A fear I had never experienced. Uncertainty and who do we trust was a daily issue. Besides grieving all the beautiful people who were lost, we all experienced it in our own way. 

I blame the Pandemic for the 10 lbs I gained. Because we were all going to die anyway so I’m going to bake all the bread and eat it. 

I’m going to bake all the chocolate chip cookies and eat all of them. All. Of. Them. 

We’re going to have mac and cheese (the five cheese homemade kind) 

and mashed potatoes smothered in butter and pizza 

and burritos and tacos every night. Because we’re all going to die anyway. Oh and all the chocolate. All. Of. It. 

I blame the Pandemic for adopting two little rescue dogs impulsively – and probably before we were really ready. Because we had just lost our Koko and Kizzie dogs three weeks apart and we were extremely vulnerable and grieving. Our new little dogs were found wrapped in a blanket and tossed in a ditch. So, yeah, two little dogs with big issues. We will soon mark five years with them and while they have overcome a lot, they still have issues and some mid-to-serious health issues. 

I blame the Pandemic for turning an already introverted person (that would be moi) into someone who no longer knew how to interact with other humans in real life. So all in all, the Pandemic as far as the "We're all going to die" part didn’t really bother me. I had my Many Paws and my husband and my hobbies 

and my books and my movies and video chats with my kids and grandkids, Happy Hour via Zoom with friends in other countries. I did dog training with the best dog trainer ever via FaceTime. I made blankets for the shelter cats 

and had two hour crafting sessions via Skype with my four year old granddaughter in the PNW. 

We even had a kringla making (Norwegian shortbread – another story for another day) video session before Christmas. 

When it finally felt "safe" being out in public I did so cautiously, tiptoeing back into the real world. 

Masked up I finally returned to my shelter volunteering. 

I was nervous in the grocery store and breezed thru my shopping list post haste. My social anxiety was maxed out so socializing was a challenge. 

But slowly, and with patience, a couple of dear friends held my hand, calmed my anxiety and hugs and lunches were possible again. 

I blame the Pandemic for my borderline hoarding because ordering things online whilst in my pajamas and drinking a glass of wine was waaaaay too easy. I needed a treat so I ordered a plethora of art and crafting supplies. I ordered storage bins to organize the plethora of arts and crafting supplies.

I blame the Pandemic for adopting too many cats. Well, technically the last three, a bonded trio, we adopted arrived in the fall of 2019 but, close enough.

So now in 2025 I have some of those same feelings I had during the Pandemic. I’m not so worried about my physical health (although bird flu is looming) as I am about my mental and emotional health. 

I find myself wanting to retreat back into my safe place. My home. Surrounded by my best friend of 33 years, my dogs, my cats, my art, my crafts, my movies, my books… Because it’s really scary out there. 

I am not religious but I am spiritual. I believe The Universe brings things to us and if we are aware, we hear them, we see them. I believe in signs. 

The other day I was cleaning a bookcase. When I removed a couple of books, this fell out on the floor. I’m still trying to process what The Universe is telling me. 

This is a scary time, a dangerous time, a time of the unknown and unfamiliar as to what lies ahead. So I try to find some solace in things like this:

“That breath you just took? That’s a gift.”  *Rob Bell*

Cherish every day. 

Curiosity

 My first camera was a Kodak Instamatic 110. You know the one with the cute flash shaped like a cube that would pop flash, rotate, repeat. I was 16 and a senior in high school. 

Over the years I have been a casual recreational photographer but it wasn’t until I stumbled upon an online photo sharing site called flickr that my interest really peaked. In 2005 flickr absolutely changed the way I looked at photography, the way I produced images and certainly changed the way I looked at the world. I began to see beauty in everything. 

And I learned so much in my flickr days. Different lenses and different techniques, different editing methods. I even went retro and back to film playing with a Polaroid camera and a little Diana Lomography (toy) camera. 

I saw how an image that would have been a throw-away in the past was now a creative new thing.

TtV - now that was a new one! Thru the Viewfinder was a fun way to create images with a grainy, vintage feel. Takes a little practice but I loved it and am just now rediscovering it. Back in the day I constructed a tube to place over the vintage twin lens Argus. I point my DSLR or Point & Shoot or even my cell phone camera into the tube (or directly over the top viewfinder) and snap away.

The result is a grainy square unique image. It takes some practice, some patience and some time but challenges can be fun. Especially when I see an image that makes me smile. 

In more recent times I purchased two additional twin lens cameras - one vintage, a Brownie Starflex camera and one new plastic lens twin lens camera. These images were created by aiming my iPhone camera over the viewfinder of each. 

Brownie Starflex images:

The plastic twin lens camera produced an image exactly as one would think - like shooting thru plastic! 

I am grateful to be curious and always ready to learn something new - expand my horizons, let down my guard and not be afraid to make a mistake. I learn much more from my mistakes than things just going perfectly.

And in this day and age... anything to distract me for just an hour or so from the nightmare that is our reality.

Happening Now. This Very Minute.

 I’ve tried to go thru the week with "semi" blinders on but with Felon #47 in office it is extremely difficult. 

I learned tonight, though, that this is getting very bad, very quickly. We knew it would be bad, but it’s devastatingly bad. 

In addition to the horrendous tariffs on Canada, Mexico and China – complete with a paragraph pertaining to retaliation and expect tariffs to increase if there is any - government websites are being wiped clean, foreign aid is suspended, FBI and DOJ employees are being dismissed for no reason other than doing their jobs. DEI no longer exists. 

And I’m sure I forgot twelve other things. Oh yes, the government no longer recognizes holidays like Pride Month, Black History Month, Women’s Month, etc. – anything that isn’t White Man’s Month. 

Tonight I learned this:

From a post on Blue Sky from Ruth Ben-Ghiat, Historian and Professor at NYU, author of Strongmen, Mussolini to the Present. She has been warning us all for months, probably years, about Project 2025 and Felon #47 and their intentions. And she has been spot on at every turn. So much so that when I see her in an interview it scares the hell out of me. Because I know, in her very serious way, it’s not going to be good news. 

“This is a National Emergency:

‘Musk allies take the purse strings: Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent gave representative of the so-called Department of government Efficiency full access to the federal payment system last on Friday, January 31, 2025, according to three people familiar with the exchange.’” 

This has been verified by Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon, The New York Times and The Washington Post and Reuters. 

In addition to federal employees’ privacy being violated and invaded, so too is the privacy of anyone on Medicare and Social Security, anyone receiving or applying for a federal grant. And call me suspicious, but are they out to steal our money?

I don’t recall seeing Elon Musk on my ballot. 

Sorry to be Debbie Downer but the shit is hitting the fan, it’s coming fast and it’s going to affect every single person in the United States. Like NOW. And the worst part? The overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, helplessness. What can we do? 

Sorry, no happy photos, no Namaste tonight. I can’t be the calm, positive Pollyanna I want to be when the country, and soon the world, is in flames. 

Home Is What You Make It

 I love houses. 

Love looking at them, online and in real life; designing and decorating them, sometimes in real life, sometimes just in my head. In another life I would be an interior designer or maybe a real estate agent. Imagining what colors go well together; should I paint the bedroom sage green, knock down that wall… I have a particular affinity for accessories – pillows and blankets and lamps and candles and knick knacks and loads of books on the shelf. They mean comfort to me. 

Did I mention pillows?

Stay with me. I do have a point… and I will get to it eventually.

My obsession with accessories got worse during the Pandemic when my home became my sanctuary (actually still is) and I needed to feather my nest (actually still do).

The Pandemic opened the door to a lot of online shopping. In my pajamas. At 4 am. With a cat on my lap. When we weren’t watching cat videos and strolling thru 5 million dollar homes. 

My décor has always reflected whatever phase I seem to be in at the time. When I was in my Jimmy Buffett phase a beach/tropical theme was my thing. 

Then when Charlie and I got married it was all about cozy and a mountain, Colorado, cozy theme. Because we were, indeed, making our nest.

 A few years ago I entered my bright, kind of Boho stage. 

That may have started during the Pandemic when everything seemed so bleak and I just needed color in my life. 

And now I’m in my Hygge mode. Which, ironically is a bit of a throw back to the early days of my marriage. Hygge is all the rage now. Being 100% Scandinavian (3/4 Norwegian and ¼ Dane) it seems this would come naturally to me. And it kind of does. Again a throw back to the early days of my marriage when we were creating a cozy, warm, peaceful nest. I have a head start with my Grandfather's rocking chair. 

Hygge: Especially with reference to Danish culture: that inspires or engenders feelings of contentment or well-being as from experiencing coziness, comfort, social harmony, etc.; pleasant, harmonious; cozy, comfortable.

How the Danes describe Hygge

My first job is to declutter. (Anyone relate?) Then go thru my home, room by room and create a calm, peaceful, restful space. Neutral quiet shades of sage green, beige, tan and khaki; warmed by a glowing fire in the fireplace, candles and pillows and blankets and books and cute dogs and cute cats.  A desire for comfort, the soft embrace that is my home. 

And here’s my point (FINALLY, woman, get to the point!).

I believe that your home reflects who you are. Right now mine looks more like a small animal rescue than a serene environment I crave, but I’ll figure out a way. And for me, especially in these unsettling times, peace, calm, warm comfort is what I need the most in my days. 

Namaste

Finding Passion

Today marks the beginning of my 7th year as a volunteer photographer at the Dumb Friends League animal shelter in Denver. 

What a journey. 

Blur was the first cat I photographed. 

Riley is the most recent cat I photographed. 

There have been hundreds, probably thousands in between. Each one more precious than the last.

My 7 year old Kukki is the reason I signed up to volunteer (after three training classes, a background check and a one-on-one interview). Adopting him at age 1 in 2018 was my introduction to the [at the time] newly remodeled shelter. I was intrigued with the place, with the people I met. 

Just a few weeks into my volunteering gig I fell in love with Tobie. 

Tobie was 10 years old, had a 4/6 heart murmur, some additional minor medical needs and was extremely charming. We took him home on Easter Sunday in 2019 and renamed him Kobie. Upon his first visit to our Vet Clinic we discovered his heart murmur was more like 2/6 and the skin disease he was diagnosed with no longer existed. 

He is almost 16 now and despite being diabetic (in remission) and hyperthyroid, is thriving and still our loving, affectionate boy. 

Is it difficult not to adopt more? Does the Earth rotate around the sun? Of course it is. I fall in love every time I set foot in the building. I’ve come close a few times, but having a full house of rescues of my own even I know when to put on the brakes. I’ve only come this close once and that was with Gabby. 

Gabby was a 13 year old girl with chronic kidney disease. It’s a malady that occurs often in cats as they age. It can be managed nicely often for years, but eventually it does get more serious. Having had a few senior cats in my life and having dealt with CKD I was worried about Gabby’s adoption possibilities. So I introduced her to my husband, who somewhat reluctantly agreed that if she wasn’t adopted by xxxx date, we would take her home. 

She was adopted the next day. And not by us.

I have learned so much. I have developed a fondness for senior cats with all their gentle and settled ways. Cats like timid 13 year old Brownie who found a beautiful, loving home. 

The ones, like seniors, who are often overlooked ~ missing an eye or missing a limb or have a chronic, but manageable disease like Cerebellar Hypoplasia, similar to Cerebral Palsy in humans. 

I have learned what FeLV is (feline leukemia) and what panleuk is – both dangerous to felines and the dreaded ringworm, not fatal but a pesky thing to deal with. I know about URIs and UTIs and Calici. I have fallen in love so many cats with a condition called FIV (Feline immunodeficiency virus) which simply means a cat’s immune system is slightly weakened. What I have discovered spending time with them is their charming personalities!

Hans was the first FIV cat I came to know and he stole my heart. 

There have been many, many FIV cats who have crossed my path since Hans and what I have seen in each one is a common thread. They are, more often than not, rough and tumble boys of the street; once in awhile we will see a girl FIV cat, but most often boys. Oscar was in the shelter for a long time, eventually went into a loving foster home and then got adopted.

They exude gratitude. Gratitude to be safe and loved. I say they have something extra in their DNA, a special love gene. They are across the board affectionate, funny and loving. I remember one particular FIV cat (although his name escapes me) - the only cat I have met who sat on my lap, put his paws on my shoulders and hugged me. More than once. Is your heart melting? Because mine is. 

I’m a huge advocate for the FIV kids. You can see that on full display with my pal, Buddy (and Bucky in the background) in 2021.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a few kittens who snuck their way into my heart. There was Billie who turned out to be a working cat, but a social one. She liked me but didn't want me to know it. She would hiss as I approached her but would eventually give in and let me pet her. When she was getting ready to go to her new home I whispered to her, "You text me if you need me and I'll come get you."

Yes, I talk to the cats.

Then there was Spitfire, whose name was eventually Clay, but my colleague and partner in all things cat, originally named him Spitfire. This little one liked to hiss, too. He was large and in charge. (Not really.) I didn't fall for his little hissy fits. We learned quickly that was just a defense mechanism and he was merely a timid little guy looking for love. 

I have learned that different breeds of cats have different personalities, not always but often. Red tabbies also known as orange tabbies or ginger cats are personality plus (like my Kukki). They are social, outgoing, quirky, funny, clever and mischievous. Brown tabbies (I have one of those, too) are a lot like gingers, affectionate, loving and a little mischievous as well. Tuxedo cats are whip smart, torties are spicy, ragdolls are cuddle bugs and lynx point mixes can be very curious and clever. The list goes on and on.

I have learned a lot about photography (and trial and error), how to best edit photos to show cats in their best shining light. I have learned how to approach timid cats, working cats, feral cats and the drop dead gorgeous cats (who make my job easy). 

And the unexpected bonus has been making some very like-minded human friends. The ones who teach me, guide me, laugh with me and cry with me. 

In these times, more than ever, I am humbled and grateful to do what I do. Here’s to Year Seven!

Namste.